i am a simple axolotl
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How to Pronounce different objects by Esa Fungtastic


Text Flirting Tip: Don’t reply immediately. Play it cool, wait for a minute, then eventually forget to reply and ruin everything


walking past your crush like



The first time someone tried to steal my bag in the subway I panicked and I broke his arm with an umbrella and since then none of my friends will let me forget about this.
If you think this was a badass moment you need to remember I’m 5 ft and my bag was a Lucky Star bag and I was crying while hitting someone much bigger than me repeatedly with a frog-shaped umbrella. 

you are my hero


Ladies, if you think your man is cheating. Take him to that bitches front door and see if his wifi connects.

I’m not used to being wanted

6 Word Poem 

bitch u call this b&w depressed blogger sentence a poem 

(via uoa)